 | Wolves | Jun 15, '06 10:43 AM
for everyone |
 It's the second poem of mine, which is declaimed acompanying a music also of my composition. The first one was "Dances of Silent Triste", with a musical collage (from some recordings of Turkman ethnic music), but this one is performed with two soprano flutes, and edited with "Sony Sound forge", to reach my imagined atmosphere. The music is in the "Gypsy mode", equivalent of the "Chargah" in the persian dastgahi system. I composed them, this morning, after studying comparative animal physiology (respiratory system, cardiovascular system, digestive system, and the worse one, urogenital system) for the final exam! Be sure that there is no social or political background for this poem! گام آهسته بفرسا گرگ ها بيدارند تن دشت از دمشان پر ز تب است زوزه شان می رسد از مهتاب از شب از جنگل پير تخم ترس است که در سينه ی شب کاشته اند Walk silently, Wolves are wakeful Body of plain, is feverish, by their breathes Their yelping is heard from the moonlight from the night from the old forest It's the seed of fear, planted in the brest of the the night زوزه شان می چکد از شاخه ی تاريک از خون شکار از ترس که می آيد و می خندد تنها و دلير سايه ها تيره و تار رنگ ها سايه پذير Their yelping is dripping from dark branches, from the blood of prey, from the fear, who is going and laughing, lonely, bravely colours are shady Shadows are dark and obscure زوزه شان می وزد از کومه ی خشکيده ی جنگل از ميوه ی ترشيده ی خون رنگ از مغز دو دختر که دريدند پرير دنده هاشان را بر خاک شب تب زده بگذاشته اند Their yelping is howling from the dried stack of the forest from the rancid bloody fruit from brains of two girls, eaten last night and leaved their ribs on the soil of fevered night گرگ ها جشن گرفتند به مرگ گل مهر ديو ها دار برفراشته اند مرغ خورشيد زبان را بکشانند به زير روشنی را بکشند گام آهسته بفرسا که شب است بيخ خواب است که در ديده ی ما کاشته اند Death of Mithra flower, wolves celebrate Devils set up the gallows tree to capture the bird of sun and to kill the light walk silently, it's the night It's the root of sleep, planted in our eyes... 
 | in shere shomaa ham mesle ashare ghabletoon be nazare man kefilsoofane bood....haalaa cheraa nime ye khali ye livan ra mibini?...shod mesle shere zemestane akhavan...
music zaheran ghabele shenidan nist...nemidoonam moshkel chie ? |
 | Its' funny how wolves are seen as hounds of evil in some cultures, including Europe, and as friends of humanity in other cultures, such as Native North America. Do you figure we make friends or enemies of these animals according to our own attitudes? |
 |  Its' funny how wolves are seen as houn some cultures, including Europe, and as friends of humanity in other cultures, such as Native North America. Do you figure we make friends or enemies of these animals according to our own attitudes?  In the old cultures, that human is a part of nature, we have no natural enemy. But in the more recent cultures, everything, against tasks of man, is enemy. I think of a world, with a global friendship between humans and nature. Between us and our brothers. I experienced such a thing, mosquitoes and flies bother me really less than my friends, that try to shoo them away. In the persian old cultures, and also Islamic cultures, also, there are two viewpoint, first (and most dominant) kill everything against us, and second (and less dominant) compromise with nature. Unfortunately, when people go poorer and poorer, the first one will became more dominant. |
 | I didn't get the chance to write a reply to this when I first read it - had to run, but now that I am back I can say first, that I think this is beautiful - and secondly, the timing of this poem, and the content of it is truly amazing to me. Thank you for sharing this :-) |
 | To tell the true, as you know, I perfer the optimistic poems. So I would n't tell it 's so beautiful, whatever your reason or the situation wanna be. It's about its theme.
The other point is that me, as a persian, choose the translation for reading of it. I don't know wheather you write it for some especial class or for the public. So, maybe it 'll be better if you write it a little more simple with using of daily words.
:-) These are just some ideas that came to my mind, maybe they 'r realy wrong or absolutely true ;-) , so don't make any definite judge about them. By the way, I love your traslation... Hmmmm, you 'll become one day so famous although now you are.
PS: The music don't work, I don't know the reason but make it corrcet. |
 | :) Merci Erfan aziz baz ham mesle ghabl ziba neveshti vali man enghadr khaste hastam nemitoonam ye comment khoob benevisam |
| To tell the true, as you know, I perfer the optimistic poems. So I would n't tell it 's so beautiful, whatever your reason or the situation wanna be. It's about its theme.
The other point is that me, as a persian, choose the translation for reading of it. I don't know wheather you write it for some especial class or for the public. So, maybe it 'll be better if you write it a little more simple with using of daily words.
:-) These are just some ideas that came to my mind, maybe they 'r realy wrong or absolutely true ;-) , so don't make any definite judge about them. By the way, I love your traslation... Hmmmm, you 'll become one day so famous although now you are.
PS: The music don't work, I don't know the reason but make it corrcet. I changed my blog's first language to english, because of many my non-persian friends. I don't like to make them preplexed by persian words.
About the poem, I think of a aestetic in the poetry, not only usual beauty. Some times, as a poet, we need, show some thing not so beauty, but in a beauty way. And the influence of english literature, makes me to choose such a words. (I really want to choose the best words, to compeletly "translate" all sides of the poem).
Your ideas, yet are always true, for me, because you are my dear Dokhmal khale!
rasti, dobare daram miram sar e kar, behem goftan motarjem e tamam vaqt besham too ye jayi, doa kon mesl e adam vay sam va baz hame chiz ro be ham narizam (moteassefane kar bara man ziade, khodam adam e 12 mahe yi nistam!!!) famous mamous ham nemikhad besham, to az oun doa ha ye makhsoos ke bara man mikoni bokon, ke ye zarre pul biad dastam,... ye qesmati az kharj e khune ro ham man bayad bedam.... midooni bara senne man (12 salegi!) kheyli zoode, vali khob... majbooram!
Music ro nemidoonam, amma too bakhsh e music bazesh kardam, mitoonin berin oonja beshnofin. amma hatman berin, fekr konam yeki az shahkar ha ye ahangsazi e qarn e 21 bashe!
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| khob...hahaa moshkele music ham hal shod...mer30 ghashang bood...faghat torokhoda gahi ahang haaye shad ham dorost kon ! in aahangesham falsafi bood .... |
| bah bah, che khabarae khoobi :-), koli hasoodim shod. age onja boodam khodam ro bejat ja mizadam miraftam sare kare .... baba congratulateeeeeeeeeeeeee .. shirinish koo, shirini dokhi khaleiiii yadet nare haaa ..... Good Luck :-) |
| bah bah, che khabarae khoobi :-), koli hasoodim shod. age onja boodam khodam ro bejat ja mizadam miraftam sare kare .... baba congratulateeeeeeeeeeeeee .. shirinish koo, shirini dokhi khaleiiii yadet nare haaa ..... Good Luck :-) mashalla, cheqadam be pesar khalat rafti, ke khodeto ja ye man ja bezani, oona ham nafahmand!
vali khoda khodesh roozi resoone, masalan man ke aslan adam e tanbalo bi kar o bi aari hastam, roozie mano mide, va jalebe ke roozie har kas andaze ye kharjeshe (man chon adam e vel kharji am, roozim ham ziad mirese!) va baz ham in ke adam ro khoda mohtaj bande ye khoda nakone, ke khoob midooni cheqadr az khalq e roozegar didam o nadidam.
hame gooyand ke taher kas nadare
khoda yar e moye che hajat e kas |
| man ke inja seda ra daram fekr konam pc doostet moshkel dare |
 | خيلي قشنگ و ماهرانه كار كردي
من كه حسابي لذت بردم
|
| hala dar dargahe khoda jae naomidi nist age p.kh bezare man khodamo jaa bezanam, mishe p.kh MehrabuN ? :-)
mibinam ke dari barmigardi be jae avalet, hmmmm afarin, bodo, ta zood beresi...PooLDaRaM ke dari mishi, na, bayad ye fekraii barat bekonam ;-) |
| hala dar dargahe khoda jae naomidi nist age p.kh bezare man khodamo jaa bezanam, mishe p.kh MehrabuN ? :-)
mibinam ke dari barmigardi be jae avalet, hmmmm afarin, bodo, ta zood beresi...PooLDaRaM ke dari mishi, na, bayad ye fekraii barat bekonam ;-) mmmm........ bashe,,, chon toyi eshkal nadare, bia to ro ham moarrefi mikonim var dast e khodam kar kon, agaram mikhay pish e hamoon khoda doa mikonam ke kar gir biari.
hanuz havasam kheyli parte, amma say mikonam behtar besham! havasam be khodam hast. faqat to ro khoda fekri mekri vase ye man nakoni, taze man agar havayi shodam to bayad biay nasihatam koni begi oy khare! cheshato baz kon! (man ke khar nashodam chand sale, vali agar shodam!) |
| var dast chie !!!!!!!! man misham raiiset yadet bashee haaaaaaa :D
na az oon fekraii ke to fekr mikoni, fekrae khoob khoob vasat mikonam :-)... chashmmm |
 | mesle hamishe....zibaa.... |
 | eppp wrote on Jun 18, '06 It's the seed of fear, planted in the brest of the the night This poem is so powerful... |
| shoma taj e sar e ma hasti, che var dast bashi che reiis! (be in migan ba panbe sar boridan), amma agar mikhay raiis bashi shartesh ine ke behem ezafe kari bedi (yani dastmozdesho, na khodesho!) badam, ye mah dar myoon mosa'ede bedi, hoqooqam ro ham sar e sal do barabar koni (bebin man agar reiis basham in kar ha ro mikonam, pas man reiis basham khob?) :-( nakhastam kareto, bashe male khodet halesho bebar :-( Geda KHasis Scruch Nadid Bedid Zalem Biehsas Sangdel Setamgar  |
 | khili khob kar kardi, manam rahat neshastam va ba musice jalebetoon goosh dadam |
| khalifehloo wrote on Jun 19, '06, edited on Jun 19, '06 |
| begu dasto del baaz, chon baa dasto del baazi inhame zowgh ro baa maa taghsim mikone.
begu baa zowgh, chon be in ghashangi kaar mikone.
begu rahim, chon delesh be haale aadamaa misuze.
begu hameye ehsaas, chon inhame ehsaasaate paak tuye she'raash moj mizane.
begu del rahm, chon baa del rahmi hame chizesho, hameye honaresho va hameye ehsaasesho baa maa dar mioon mizaare.
taa inhame sefaate khub daare, HAMISHE khubaa ro begu.
HAMISHE bekhand,
HICHVAGHT messe in sheklake akhmu akhm nakon taa hamchin dusti daari.
aaaafffffffarid. ya rab kojast......................?!
mahram e razi ke yek zaman, del sharh e an dahad, ke che goft o che ha shanid!
inash seza nabood!
del e haq gozar e man, kaz gham gosar e khod, sokhan e narava shanid
|
| OhhOhhOhhOhhOhhOOOOO, migam bara inke javabe mano bedi rafty adam estekhdam kardi, D.KH be in mazlomi, khodet tanhaii 100 tasho harifi dige pool vase chi kharj kardi, negahdar poolato lazem daram,,,, badam be in aghae bego u ke ba dide + mokhalef boodio migofy childishe, chi shod pas?!!! dideshuno change kardan ishun!!! beheshun barchasbe romantic boodan hang mikonim haa, havaseshun be in its right position....
ERFan, bebin, chize, narooo, vasaaa 1 min , sabr kon biam barat sar rahii bezaram, onja miri hamash az oon mive jangali haa nakhori, barat ye khorakie khoshmaze miaram bebari ba khodet... :D |
| khalifehloo wrote on Jun 20, '06, edited on Jun 20, '06 jaryaan chie akhavi?
albatte age be maa marbut mishe haa...!!!!!!
vali midunam be man marbut nemishe, chon man mostakhdemam na estekhdaam!!!! |
| doci joon bikhial chizi nist dava ye family beyn e yek pesarkhale ye nesbatan mottaham be bazi mavared va yek dokhtar khale ye nesbatan shakkak be bazi afrad.
man rah mioftam miram, khoraki ha ye hich kasam nemibaram, ke nagin erfan loose, sad sal tanha to biaboon o deh o jangal bi kar naboodam, safa ye in mardom ham az shahri ha kheyli bishtare. manam khodam ro az hamina midoonam. |
| manam ke donbal e bahane boodam, vali doci, shoma be atish e man beppa nasoozi, ye dafe didi man raftam, ina to ro greftan kotak zadan ha! |
| chera manzoram ishun bood :-) ke khob motevaje nashodano ... ni problem
to ham nemikhad beri, beshin to hamoon shahretoon kar bekon... felan injor ke boosh miad kasi ke raftanie manam na to.... Then, Good Luck :-) |
| man alan raftam, tehran nistam. badesham mikhasti mano narahat nakoni, alan delam grefte, az hame, hatta to dokhtar khale ke oon harfa ro dar mored e sighe o hamid o ina bargashti zadi be man. manam narahatam. |
| salam bar p.kh khodam... man tasmim gereftam ke dige behet natopam, bad akhlagh ham nabasham, agaram bacheha chizi goftan behet, age natonestam tarafe to ro begiram hadaghall chizi ham nagam :-(...... ashtiiiii :-) .....alanam goshname miram ghaza :-)
felan bedrood |
| yani ashti? .....ok
ASHTI!
noosh e jan! az taraf e manam bokhor! |
| rafighe nime raah, the worst thing i've ever heard.
so again, BORO DAARAMET AKHAVI. |
| be zoodi dar in makan shirini dade mishavad! |
| sanaz :O:O:O:O:O to ghahr karde boodi?????????????????????????
dige az in harfa nazanio barat harf dar miaran , ye seri afrad inja neshastan bebinan kodoom dokhtar ghahr mikone ya kodoom pesar joorabesho nemishoore |
| ghahr ke na, Erfan dar astane ghahr bood o dashtesham miraft safar, goftam ba khatere bad az pishemoon nare badesh bere barae bozo gosfanda tarif kone :D ke khob I think ke problems have been hall o jahan 'll become shirin :-) gofte shirini ham mide hala in shirinie chie khodesh jae koli discussion dare ;-) |
| man ke joorabamo mishooram, alanam pish e goosfanda hastam, inja boz nadare, manam khoshhalam, chon az boz khosham nemiad. shir e boz albatte khoshmazzas. vali shir e shotor behtare. qahram nistam, ashtiam, joorabam ro ham khodam mishooram (ye dafe goftam na?) badesham alan charoq pam kardam, ba pataab. |
| bebakhshid inja ke migin you kodom noghte az worlde? moderne haa!!
axash didani mishe ... certainly age send beshe. ( man promise dadam poli basham ) ( :-( ) (heyffff) (c'est dommage) ( ;-) )
migam quel zamooneiee, dige peolpe quand miran travel goodbye bi goodbye, then bye sans byebye |
| bar gashtam, aksasham mifrestam, rafte boodam ostan markazi! to ham khahesh mikonam hamin joori ba adab bemoon, farsi ro ham pas bedar, aslan ham heyf nist! |
 | Nice poem....I like it...:) |
| I love poetry and I like some of Persian ones as well...:)
Hope someday you can teach me more about it...
Salam, |
| anytime...:)
Let's share our poems too...:)
|
| Hehehehe, but still in Bahasa Indonesia, let me translate it first for you. Btw, I am also writing a story which located in Iran, particularly Tehran as well... |
| I saw the "Dejavu" but couldn't read it. Please translate your poems and stories, I think it would be great! |
 | گرگ حیوون مورد علاقه منه... مخصوصا ً نوع سردسیریش... خیلی قشنگه... چرا شما شاعرا باهاش بد تا می کنید...!؟
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 | I had to hear this again...It is so powerful...Shukran! |
| thank you dear, but it is not as powerful as the pain caused it to be composed. |
| From great pain comes great art they say...but Pain is pain I say.I am sorry you suffered any pain...Is it better now? I hope so....I light a candle for you tonight, I was a little worried, you got really sick...so I had onelit anyway....Blessings, Mira |
| The pain, I said, is not my one, it's the pain of being woman in a country like Iran... |
| Oh, I am sorry.I did not understand... |
 | in ham kheyli por mohtava va ghavi sorodi,merci.. |
| The last month has made me truly understand this...Sadly now, I "get it".. |
| I hope for better days for you, dear sister. Love you. |
 | anajim wrote on Oct 1, '06, edited on Oct 1, '06 Well, They say what does not kill you makes you stronger, and this is so.Every day it is less painful...Love You too.. |
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